Killing-Free Nutrition and Children

M.A.Shtil

        Transformation of oneself into love and reconsideration of all life principles from the standpoint of love is the essence of spiritual transformation not only in the case of adults but also of children.
        In this article I want to discuss such an aspect of love as compassion, which necessarily implies switching to killing-free nutrition motivated by ethical reasons.
        I remember how having read for the first time the book of Dr.Antonov How God Can Be Cognized [6] and having completely accepted everything written in it, I began to reexamine immediately my entire “system of values”. One of my first steps was to switch to killing-free nutrition. I was mostly shaken by the fact that in my life I have never contemplated on this subject myself!
        Buying products made of meat and fish, we all know that they were not grown on garden beds. It is not a secret to anyone that they are bodies of killed animals.
        Why, when we hear about a murder of man, we exclaim terrified: “How is it possible to take someone’s life! After all, it is sacred!” Or, if someone kills a dog or a cat, we again become indignant: “Ah, he is such a monster!“
        Why then we all so easily accept killing of other animals? For a long time I could not understand: why it does not hurt us?
        Attempting to answer this question myself, I realized that it is only a stereotype, a pattern of thinking that shields the entire horror of this problem from the mind. Most people as if wear “blinders” on their eyes.
        From the early childhood, when parents give to their child the first concepts about the world, they say: “Oak is a tree, rose is a flower, grass is green, meat and fish are food”. And, perhaps, this most basic information, which the child receives from the parents, becomes an axiom that does not require confirmation. This information turns into a solid foundation, on which children build their relations with the world.
        When I, being already an adult, finally realized what crime towards animals I have been committing my entire life, I was shaken to tears. Indeed I was not a heartless person! How could I allow them to suffer because of my gustatory whims?
        And I am sure that this information can and should be told to children from an early age. Children, of course, cannot be forced to switch to a killing-free diet. It is enough from time to time to have conversations with the child on this topic — without becoming a bore. My own experience shows that there is no need to force your child to do this. Indeed, if parents themselves adhere to these ethical principles, if they live according to the principle of love — then their child most naturally assumes these standards of behavior — through the mechanism of imitation. Educating by our own example is the most efficient way of education.
        When I myself switched to a killing-free nutrition — I immediately explained to my 4-years-old daughter why I did that.
        I explained in acceptable to her form where meat and fish are taken from. And what torture cows, pigs, and chicken undergo; how a fish suffers when it is first pierced with a sharp hook and then, being caught, chokes and dies…
        And the daughter, though being little, understood and accepted everything that I explained to her. Of course, in the beginning she could not keep to this principle completely. Sometimes she would forget her decision; and in the kindergarten certainly no one would prepare individually for her special meals. This is normal; there is no need to require the impossible from a child.
        But as my daughter grew up, as she was reflecting on this subject after conversations with me and other adults — already in the school age — she completely accepted this ethical concept into her life as if it became a part of her own philosophy.
        Sometimes children, and not only children, pose the question: “After all, we do not kill animals ourselves. What is our fault?”
        I remember how in childhood someone read to me a story from classic Russian literary about a sentimental woman who witnessed how a pig was killed for food. Shaken, she fainted. But in the evening of the same day, she ate its meat with pleasure. At that time, I despised that woman and was very proud that I am not like her! What a blow to me was to understand in my older years that I was no different from her!
        I did not kill animals with my hands, but I understood that I was culpable much more than any hunter, who kills his or her game with one shot. Because in order for food to appear on my table, animals had to go through a “factory of death”, inhaling the smell of blood of their congeners and expecting with horror their own terrible end.
        Indeed we all, by buying meat or fish products in the store, give thus our implicit permission to murder, to the painful death of animals…
        The problem of love-compassion is the first one that we must solve for ourselves if we want to approach God so close that we may cognize Him. The person who accepts, from early childhood, the law of love for everything living, the law of love that includes, among other things, the principle of compassion and of not causing harm to anyone, will stand on the Path of Love more firmly and will go on it much farther*.
*  More details about the problems of nutrition — from the scientific standpoint — can be found in the book [9] (see also [10]).
In particular, we have to keep in mind that upon switching to the killing-free nutrition, it is necessary to include in the diet products that supply the organism with proteins containing necessary amino-acids — such as dairy products (cottage cheese, cheese, sour milk, milk itself and so forth), eggs, soy, mushrooms, nuts. (Note by V.Antonov).

My Mistakes in Raising My Son

       

A.B.Zubkova

       
        This book, probably, can be interesting not only to professional teachers but also to moms and dads, who want to raise their children as happy, harmoniously developed, worthy of love and respect people.
        Here I want to share with you my personal experience of raising my son: how it should not be done — so that you, readers, avoid making such mistakes.
        The situation, when the mother tries to teach her child to use the methods described in this book, is different from classes conducted for groups of children. When children go to classes, they are mentally prepared to something new, interesting; they see their peers doing the same in the class. A professional instructor easily attracts the attention of children and supports subtle emotional states in them, “tunes up” children to what they are suggested to do.
        One of the difficulties in my case was to find the moment when it was not only me having time and desire to show something to the child, but he as well had a desire, readiness to learn.
        It is easy to raise interest to such work in younger children (4-6 years old) using fairy tales, games. But by the time when I became familiar with these techniques, my son was already 9 years old and had a skeptical attitude towards these “fairy tales and sloppy sentimentality”.
        This skepticism and protest were the result of my own selfish hypertrophied desire to raise him as a certain “ideal” as I imagined it. My love for him very frequently proved to be “blind” and unreasonable. From a very early age, I tried to teach my son a lot of useful things, and even succeeded in teaching him some of them. But all the efforts were made only by me; he just received joy and pleasure. I helped him up to climb to every new step, creating for him the states of emotional joy, enthusiasm, happiness (I was able to do it even without knowing the mechanisms). And he, as a result, got used to receiving everything passively, taking it for granted. By 14 years old, he could swim well, ski, ride a bicycle, and participate in kayak trips. I poured onto him love and happiness, trying to give him all this wonderful world, but forgot to take care that he, too, learn to be grateful, to respond with love and tenderness for what he receives, learn to give himself.
        The older he grew, the more difficult it was to surprise him, to fill him with joy. And when I could not succeed, I very quickly turned from a mom giving miracles into a mom-bore, who tried to force him to see the beauty, to perform this or that exercise. I wanted so much to make him perfect that I destroyed this desire in him with my violence (“come on, try it, try one more time”). When forcing him did not help, I was terribly disturbed and could even shame him (“you do not want to do it, despite the fact that I am trying so much for you…”).
        By the time when I realized all this (though in general our relationships were good), I had developed the stereotype of behavior of a bore, and he — the position of egotist. To change dominant stereotypes is much more difficult. And one has to begin this correction with oneself.
        Moreover, I wanted this change to happen faster, right now. And so I continued to make it worse by persuading him — and only received answers like these: “it's boring!”, or “this is difficult, I don't want to…”, or “I am going to lie for a while, and you may continue…”
        So my every mistake made the possibility of improving our relationships more and more distant, causing in him the reaction of rejection.
        Contemporary children's entertainments, like constantly watching TV or playing computer games, create a very unfavorable background for life, which makes a child a passive indoor creature isolated from the beauty and the true life. To make a child who is already affected by this accept an active creative position is not an easy task.
        With time I understood that the best way for breaking dominant negative stereotypes is to have trips to the forest in a group of like-minded people, when your child becomes an equal participant, and I am not a teacher bothering him. Conversations on the road or near a fire turn out to be unobtrusive.
        If one manages to find like-minded friends on this path — it becomes much easier both for adults and for children.
        But artificial attempts to achieve success lead to failure.
        And the method of coercion always causes repulsion.
        On the contrary, those things which I learned to present softly, with my own example, without constantly reminding and requiring, were easily accepted. For example, I explained to my son why I gave up eating meat and fish (explained only once!) — and he immediately understood that by eating bodies of animals capable of feeling pain, we participate in their killing. I offered him to ask, at least, forgiveness from those creatures whose bodies became food for him, and very soon he himself decided to switch to a killing-free nutrition. He violated it only once… That time he asked permission from me, and I did not dissuade him, suggested that he decide himself. He yielded to his desire — and next day fell ill. Then he concluded (himself!) that he was wrong. Since then neither in company of friends, nor in school, nor at a party — had he ever broke the principle of killing-free nutrition again, because it became his own inner conviction.
        A five-year old daughter of my friend, having learned what burgers and sausages are made from, asked in the kindergarten not to add these things to her meal. Surprisingly, such a statement of a little girl did not anger the teachers; they did not begin to force her. They accepted her firm position with surprise and respect.
        And now — about the most important thing. If our actions of changing ourselves and raising children have the highest motivation — love and aspiration for the Creator, and this becomes the foundation of life, the main driving force behind us — then it unites us all — the children of our Heavenly Father.
        If we make even one real step towards Him — He makes ten steps towards us. He — our Creator — becomes a real Assistant for us and our children. And if children become confident of the existence of God, and even more if it is supported with their personal experience, then they understand ethical principles much better. Because in this case they can include these principles in their world view, having understood what God really wants from us. Moreover, children much quicker and easier than we, adults, accept God's truths.
        If there is true love-aspiration to God, then it becomes much easier to change yourself. And the world around us changes as well, reflecting the love growing in us. And then our children most naturally begin their spiritual development.
       

Mistakes Can Be Corrected

       

L.A.Vavulina

       
        By profession I am not a teacher, not a psychologist but merely an accountant. But I have three daughters, now almost adults (18, 19 and 20 years old). And I want to share that part of my experience and observations which may be useful to all of us in the work of upbringing children.
        Before attending classes in the School of Dr.Antonov, I was a very ordinary, average parent, who built her relationships with the children on the following stereotype: I am a mother, I love my children, I care about them, I wish them good, I am older, I have more experience — and I know better what must be done and how it must be done. And so I have the full right to establish rules, to impose my views, to give orders, to require that the children obey and to punish them if the result does not meet my expectations. Any freedom of will was allowed only within those limits, which corresponded to my ideas of what is good and what is bad. In everything, there was my struggle with children, because I tried to make them what I want them to be. This struggle went on with varying success: they frequently resisted, did not obey, were rude, and refused to carry out my requests and orders. It was painful to me, because I believed that they did it to spite me: after all, I knew what was good! Mutual resentments grew like a snowball.
        And it would have continued so until the end of my incarnation if one day I had not said to myself: ”That's it! Enough! I have to do something, since I reached deadlock”.
        I began to ask myself questions. Why do I live? What is the meaning of life? I did not just ask questions — I started to seek answers to them. I read different books, which I could find; I went to church. But there were very few answers, and the questions grew more and more numerous, until God showed me the path with the help of the books by Dr.Antonov.
        It was a revelation to me! I read them — and could not believe that I had found answers to the questions that had been plaguing me for so long!
        Later, when I began to practice these methods and rebuild my life, bringing it into correspondence with the intention of God, I reread these books many times. I do not part with them now, every time discovering in them something new, unnoticed by me!
        Thanks to the work I have done on myself, I can see changes in the relationships with my children, for example, in their attitude towards me.
        First, I gave them freedom, set them free from my tyranny. This does not mean anarchy and all-permissiveness! I simply removed nitpicking, “released” them, leaving as a connection link between us only my love, patience, compassion, and constant willingness to come to help.
        I cannot say that it was easy for me. Even now I continue to struggle; but now it is a struggle with my own ego. And my children, who previously only tried to ignore me, are now attracted to me. They come for advice, come just to talk, to sit with me, to be together; they like to stay with me.
        Now I try to raise them by my own example: how I try to improve myself. There must be no falsity here: it is only sincerity in relationships that gives a positive result! If I make mistakes in something, then I admit them and try to correct what can be corrected.
        Children ceased to offend me — because I… ceased to be resentful! What sense does it make to offend a person who does not resent? Once my oldest daughter, after one of her misdeeds, suddenly said for the first time: “Sorry, Mom!”, and then added, “I know that you are not resentful — but anyway sorry!”
        I am trying to teach my children to be self-sufficient: to make decisions, to carry out actions, and to assume responsibility for them.
        Wisdom of parents in dealing with children consists also in giving them an opportunity to make mistakes and to learn from them, accumulating their own life experience. Of course, this should not turn into absurdity: for example, we should not stay aside and wait until the child acquires the experience of a drug addict, thief, or murderer.
        But if there is too much concern and desire to protect the children from all the troubles and difficulties of life, then this prevents their growth, turns them into passive observers of life, into dependants: there is no sense to do anything if your parents will do it better. And in old age, parents receive the fruits of such upbringing: when they have to continue to financially support their grown-up children, who still lead a childish way of life.
        In conclusion, I want to say that God teaches and educates every one of us — and in this respect we all are equal with our children. It is only stages of the training program that are different because of the age differences. Our mission is to help children master those stages of the program which we ourselves have already passed, though maybe not in the same way as it is destined for them. And we can do it optimally by our own example: showing the best way of doing something, of behaving in certain situations.
        Only two years have passed since the start of my work on reforming, “re-educating” myself. My daughters are no longer children, and unfortunately, not all methods and guidelines described in this book are suitable for their age. Anyway, I can say that the result of my work makes me happy. Now in our house it is warm, cozy, and comfortable; we live in peace! It is not furniture and heating that create comfort and warmth in the home — it is good relationships based on mutual understanding, respect, love, patience, and compassion for each other.
        … I “woke up” a little bit late in my life. So I want to advise you — do not waste time in vain! Indeed, the earlier you start working on yourself — the better the result will be! And in this work, you can receive much help from reading this and other books by Dr.Antonov.

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